Rowan

Rowan was born during the pandemic, which was such a wild and heavy time to bring a baby into the world. Looking back now, I don’t think we fully understood the long term impact that season would have on our kids. Because of immune compromise, we were masked most of the time, and so were the people around her. Faces were partially hidden everywhere we went, and at the time, that felt like survival. We didn’t yet know how much it might shape early development.

Early on, Rowan met all of her milestones. Everything felt on track. But around age 1 1/2, we began noticing changes, especially with her language. Words she once used started to fade. Trusting our instincts, and guided by research and resources we had access to, we decided to pursue an evaluation. When Rowan was two years old, she was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 2, and Speech Delay.

At that point, Rowan was in daycare, another environment where most adults were masked. Children couldn’t see mouths, facial expressions, or the full cues that support language development. Even though we were surrounded by support, we could still tell she was struggling.

We began with speech therapy and enrolled Rowan in Babies Can’t Wait, Georgia’s early intervention program. From there, we were referred to a wonderful speech facility that recommended ABA therapy. Like many parents, we hesitated. We did a lot of research and asked a lot of questions. I know ABA isn’t the right fit for every family, but for us, it was truly life changing.

Rowan received one on one support that focused on understanding her, meeting her where she was, honoring her needs, and helping us learn along the way. Over the course of three to four years, we worked with incredible technicians who supported her growth in meaningful ways.

When it was time for Pre K, we decided to split her time between ABA and a public school program. That balance worked beautifully. We saw big shifts, more confidence, more connection, and her personality shining through. After continuing that model through the summer, Rowan transitioned into public kindergarten in a fully supportive classroom with a small class size, thoughtful challenges, and a team that truly sees her.

Every single day, she teaches us something new.

Around age 3 1/2, maybe slightly earlier, we realized Rowan could read. That discovery changed everything. We began pouring into her strengths, and as she’s grown, her love for math has blossomed, too. She has a dancing spirit, a big personality, and so much joy. She scripts and has echolalia, but honestly, it often leads to the most fun and unexpected conversations. She loves spinning, singing, dancing, being outside, doing arts and crafts, and so much more.

With her speech, Rowan isn’t considered non-verbal, but she does have delays that she continues to grow into. And she is growing. She is thriving.

As parents, hearing the diagnosis was hard. There’s no way around that. We navigated tantrums, stimming, difficulty initiating play with peers, and the deep ache of not fully understanding what she was experiencing. On top of that, there were moments when people questioned her diagnosis, suggesting she would outgrow things or implying she needed to be fixed.

Thankfully, we are surrounded by family and friends who work in education and special education, who understand learning differences and autism, and who helped ground us during those early days. We’re so grateful we started early and that we found spaces that were largely ASD affirming, places that allowed Rowan to lead, played to her strengths, and challenged her with care and respect.

Comparison can still sneak in sometimes, especially when friends have neurotypical children who seem to move through milestones effortlessly. It can feel isolating to search for other parents who truly get it. Balancing work, friendships, family life, therapies, and school can be overwhelming. There’s constant worry, and at times, judgment.

But the more we learn, the more we understand that our job isn’t to change Rowan. It’s to meet her exactly where she is and help her grow into the very best version of herself, embracing all of her.

Rowan is full of joy. She has a beautiful spirit that guides us every single day, and being her parents is one of the greatest honors of our lives.